[cries tears shaped like the starfleet insignia]
I don’t write “sentences.” I write lots and lots of clauses and I coordinate and subordinate them, and when I can’t do that syntactically, I like to use lots of different punctuation—like this (sometimes like this)—to express intonational contours; that is to say, my ideas TRANSCEND YOUR ORTHOGRAPHIC HEGEMONY.
She wears short skirts, I wear T-Shirts, but not for long because we are currently taking off our clothes surprise we’re lesbians.
So my mom called the other day about my sewing machine, she said the technician got a look at it and said it was the worst case of bad timing he’s ever seen, and if that wasn’t like the hashtag of my life the last couple years idk what is.
thinking about my future makes me want to throw up
Hlchop! - Klingon “Kiss Me” (x)
the more i like you, the more my compliments get progressively weirder and weirder, often crossing the threshold to “just a bizarre statement, but said affectionately”
If I were to sum up my life with one bumper sticker.
‘I think I need everyone to think I’m the greatest, the “Fantastic” Mr. Fox.’